Why I date married men

Why I date married men

Tribute To Zukkie

Haunted by your memories and scarred by the pain but I know that one day we will dance together in the rain above the clouds not bound by space nor time.

Forever in our hearts.

Signed: The Fantastic Four

You're My Own Exception

Fighting Temptation

If my life were a movie, fighting temptation would be the title.

I need to let him go but I don’t think am strong enough.

Everywhere I look he's there, calling me. Seducing me with his deceptive innocence and alluring looks. Every day I look away only to be lured by his whispers of pleasure, waiting, only for me.

I turn away but I feel his warm stare burrowing into the back of my head. He's in my thoughts, in my dreams - there's no escaping his smell.

I remember the feel of him in my hands, his taste is oh so soft and sweet and every day I just want to hold him, even if it for a moment, even if I never feel his lips on mine again; all I want to do is hold him and feel whole once more.

You are not good for me but still I yearn for you. Why can't I live without you? Every day is a struggle not to look into your eyes and be lost. My friends warn me every day to stay away cos you're nothing but bad news, yet our bond grows strong.

You need to let me go just as I need to let you go. I walk slowly towards him for the final farewell. This is how our love ends. Just one more time, that's all I ask, before we say goodbye.

We go to our secret place, a place where no one can judge us for being together. I hold him gently and bring him to my mouth. A deep sigh escapes from my lips when our tongues touch.

Ohhhhhh, Ice Cream. I will miss you.

Lip Sync Battle with Paul Rudd

The Act of Letting Go

Life is fleeting so is love. 

We form attachments so easily and sometimes place an enormous amount of value on these attachments that sometimes become our undoing.

Where is all this coming from you ask? What’s the sordid experience that led to this piece, you may ask? The truth is there were several stories that inspired this piece. 

 Gloria, the gullible lady so blinded by love that she was blind to the lies that were her truth. Public humiliation at the hands of her ‘love’ after years of devotion, sacrifice and commitment. 

Cynthia, the idiot who accepted her cheating partner who after years of stomaching the atrocities still got left at the altar. 

Or Michael, the lovesick puppy who funded his girlfriend through school and supported her family for years only to be told that he was not good enough when a ‘better’ package came along.

Countless incidents of scared and mistreated lovers who are genuinely nice people but got rail rolled by this thing called love.  Leaving behind bitter and cynical shells. *Deep sigh*

Love's a powerful emotion. It is so strong it can change your life forever. It has the ability to make or mar us should we let it get out of hand. Love is dangerous. Love is liberating. For those who have tasted the liberating power of love, they will tell you it is empowering and life giving. It makes them want to break into song and dance at the littlest provocation. Some can pinpoint the exact moment they knew their life changed forever and that moment was a love moment.

For those who have been burnt by the engulfing flames of love, theirs is a different tale. To them, love is a sickness of the mind; it consists of several moments of madness that when stringed together, creates a picture of an insane person needing incarceration in a mental institute. 

For these insane lovers, sanity can be restored at the moment of release. That one moment of clarity when you look back and catch a glimpse of the train wreck behind you; look down and see how hard you are clutching, and  desperately too, to an illusion and then realize that the thing you so desperately tried to preserve was never worth the cost. Why waste your time reliving the past or beating yourself up for failures that were never entirely your fault?

Just before clarity vanishes you come to a realization that all you have to do is breath, unclench your fists and just let go. Yes, let go. Don’t you know that they were never good enough for you?

Let go of the fear, the sadness, the self-loathing, the anxiety and just breath. Communicate with your future self and let them tell you that you'll be just fine.  As long as you let go, breathe and take it one day at a time.

There is no fear in love.

And yes you can live without this person. Trust me, you can.

 

 

Down On The Ground

And so it was, the day that would remain etched in my memory for a long time.

I stand drenched in sweat and panting like an athlete who just finished a half marathon, I couldn’t help the tears that ran down my face. This can’t be happening right now. I feel woozy and fall backwards, thankfully there’s a chair to catch my fall. For a split second I have an out of body experience and look down at the pathetic figure sobbing like a kid and wiping tears from her eyes. ‘Grow a pair you weakling’ I hear my alter ego speak. I look up and she says, ‘Let’s get out of here. Think solutions my dear’.

To the group of consolers, I must be possessed cos one minute I’m in tears and the next I’m walking with giant strides towards the elevators like a woman on a mission. Sorry pity partyers, I’m done crying.

I retrace my steps and my brain is on overdrive trying to figure out a way out of this mess. I feel the stares but I pretend I’m invisible. I look horrible - my mascara has stained my face and my hair looks like I just got out of bed; and judging by the scene I created a while ago, it’s no wonder they stare, whisper and point.

I hear my mother’s voice scold ‘Good girls don’t cuss; I’m so disappointed right now’. There’s a war on propriety going on in my head but I push the voices to the background and focus on the task at hand. How do I get out of here?

The gentleman up ahead is very helpful, he directs me on how to get back on track even if it costs more than I bargained for. At this point I don’t care, I am focused; my sole mission is to leave here and keep my appointment. Everything depends on this last chance I was given.

I keep replaying the entire morning, trying to pinpoint the moment that triggered this chain of events and 2 things stand out in my mind – that blasted traffic light, the bloody fueling station that caused a queue on the road and that heartless creep at the gate. How can a person be this heartless?

It takes me 3 hours to get here after enduring inflight drama, dust inhalation, unnecessary police check points and an assaulting bumpy road trip. I look a mess, my reflection is a disaster but there’s no time to fuss about that, I am on a schedule. ‘What are you trying to prove, you ninny?’ I hear the voice again, ‘shhh’ I say out loud. The lady at the reception looks at me like I’m crazy. I avert her eyes and walk boldly into the meeting room.

They are shaking hands. Everyone is smiling. The screen is blank. They turn to look at the apparition standing in the doorway. My boss shakes his head. Just then, my comic ringtone fills the room, ‘Hey boss I think you have a message’. I look down and read the message from my boss ‘The meeting started early, don’t stress trying to get here cos you won’t make it in time. See you when we get back’.

 

Bloody network.

Doing The Two-Step

 

Being in a relationship is like doing a 2-step dance; it requires a little give and a little go. Standing still would mean you get stepped on a lot and moving out of tune would probably see you slip, slide or worse, fall.

With each dance comes its sets of rules - the right posture and stance, the number of counts preceding a movement, the direction and movement of the hips and arms - the list is endless; and just like dance, relationships are governed by its own sets of rules. 

Each partner has a role to play in ensuring every move is executed flawlessly and no one leaves the dance floor injured. 

Women expect to be wooed and pampered while men are naturally inclined to lead and pursue, the same applies to dance, the man must lead.

The Role of The Man

On the dance floor, he’s in charge. He leads by gently nudging his partner to move where and how he wants. His subtle cues set the tone and pace of the dance. His touch is respectful and he makes it a point to avoid causing injuries to his partner.

The Role of The Woman

There’s a saying in the military ‘Obey the last command’ and for the lady on the dance floor, the onus is upon her to follow, no matter what. Wrestling power from the man isn’t an option however trust is a necessity when she steps into the arms of her partner. She needs to be attentive to the gentle nudges from her partner and know what each cue means.

The Role of Music

Just like dance, each relationship is tuned to a particular rhythm and both partners must be willing to dance to the music.

Music determines the pace and style. Partners must choose and agree on the music and style beforehand; it is imperative that the genre of the song and the dance itself be in sync. It can be problematic when the music is suited for a waltz and one partner wants to salsa all the way. Agreement creates an enabling environment for the execution of a harmonized and enjoyable dance routine. 

Each relationship must appreciate and respect its peculiarities and adapt the dance step to its rhythm. 

Remember, being the best dance team requires constant practice; it takes work to produce the synchronized routine.