You're My Own Exception

Fighting Temptation

If my life were a movie, fighting temptation would be the title.

I need to let him go but I don’t think am strong enough.

Everywhere I look he's there, calling me. Seducing me with his deceptive innocence and alluring looks. Every day I look away only to be lured by his whispers of pleasure, waiting, only for me.

I turn away but I feel his warm stare burrowing into the back of my head. He's in my thoughts, in my dreams - there's no escaping his smell.

I remember the feel of him in my hands, his taste is oh so soft and sweet and every day I just want to hold him, even if it for a moment, even if I never feel his lips on mine again; all I want to do is hold him and feel whole once more.

You are not good for me but still I yearn for you. Why can't I live without you? Every day is a struggle not to look into your eyes and be lost. My friends warn me every day to stay away cos you're nothing but bad news, yet our bond grows strong.

You need to let me go just as I need to let you go. I walk slowly towards him for the final farewell. This is how our love ends. Just one more time, that's all I ask, before we say goodbye.

We go to our secret place, a place where no one can judge us for being together. I hold him gently and bring him to my mouth. A deep sigh escapes from my lips when our tongues touch.

Ohhhhhh, Ice Cream. I will miss you.

Lip Sync Battle with Paul Rudd

The Act of Letting Go

Life is fleeting so is love. 

We form attachments so easily and sometimes place an enormous amount of value on these attachments that sometimes become our undoing.

Where is all this coming from you ask? What’s the sordid experience that led to this piece, you may ask? The truth is there were several stories that inspired this piece. 

 Gloria, the gullible lady so blinded by love that she was blind to the lies that were her truth. Public humiliation at the hands of her ‘love’ after years of devotion, sacrifice and commitment. 

Cynthia, the idiot who accepted her cheating partner who after years of stomaching the atrocities still got left at the altar. 

Or Michael, the lovesick puppy who funded his girlfriend through school and supported her family for years only to be told that he was not good enough when a ‘better’ package came along.

Countless incidents of scared and mistreated lovers who are genuinely nice people but got rail rolled by this thing called love.  Leaving behind bitter and cynical shells. *Deep sigh*

Love's a powerful emotion. It is so strong it can change your life forever. It has the ability to make or mar us should we let it get out of hand. Love is dangerous. Love is liberating. For those who have tasted the liberating power of love, they will tell you it is empowering and life giving. It makes them want to break into song and dance at the littlest provocation. Some can pinpoint the exact moment they knew their life changed forever and that moment was a love moment.

For those who have been burnt by the engulfing flames of love, theirs is a different tale. To them, love is a sickness of the mind; it consists of several moments of madness that when stringed together, creates a picture of an insane person needing incarceration in a mental institute. 

For these insane lovers, sanity can be restored at the moment of release. That one moment of clarity when you look back and catch a glimpse of the train wreck behind you; look down and see how hard you are clutching, and  desperately too, to an illusion and then realize that the thing you so desperately tried to preserve was never worth the cost. Why waste your time reliving the past or beating yourself up for failures that were never entirely your fault?

Just before clarity vanishes you come to a realization that all you have to do is breath, unclench your fists and just let go. Yes, let go. Don’t you know that they were never good enough for you?

Let go of the fear, the sadness, the self-loathing, the anxiety and just breath. Communicate with your future self and let them tell you that you'll be just fine.  As long as you let go, breathe and take it one day at a time.

There is no fear in love.

And yes you can live without this person. Trust me, you can.