Get Married Or Else ...

Get married or move out.

That was the ultimatum I got from my mummy over the weekend.

I was at a loss for words, really. Not for the obvious reasons of

a. What kind of ultimatum is this?
b. Where is this coming from? Cos I knew the woman had been grudgingly counting the days till I brought home a beau.
c. Where am I supposed to find a man within your allotted deadline?

No.
My total loss of speech came from the ramifications of what her ultimatum meant. I CAN FINALLY MOVE OUT. The word FINALLY kept reechoing in my head. A moment later I was grinning like a Cheshire cat – ‘She don’t know me very well, does she’? (In Bugs Bunny’s voice)

You see, I am stuck living at home just because I am not married. As an unmarried lady I am mandated to live at home which is far from everything and everywhere important (to me). Don’t get me wrong, living at home does have its perks – free room and board, free food, company when you feel like talking – I get to save more but boy do I dream of living by myself which in my case had always been a futile dream. I was filled with joy, even if it was short lived (sob, sob).

She remembered who she was speaking to and took back her words.

I could see the wheels turning in her head as she said ‘I think I spoke too harshly, you don’t need to move out’. She must have recalled that this was her head strong daughter who time without number had proved resourceful in fending for herself financially and otherwise –when she forbade the purchase of a car and land and I went right ahead and bought both anyway or the dreadlocked hair guy I brought home for Christmas just to scare my father (that was funny). I could see her listing the different little ways I have defied parental influence and struck out on my own.

The cajoling started.

In the few moments before my mum’s threat was retracted I had pictured the self contain flat I would live, which would be close to work, with fairly regular power supply and solitude. In my head it was heavenly. And then puff, it was just a dream.

Maybe I will rebel. Someday.

So until some guy comes to pay for me to come live with him, I am stuck living at home. This does not bring me an ounce of joy. Whyyyyyyyy?