A couple of
friends were discussing the subject of love, marriage and commitment the other
day and an interesting debate ensued.
Where I come
from marriage is the ultimate achievement for a woman. Us unwed ladies are
looked down on and pitied for not being fortunate enough to be married. You can
hear it in conversations over your head "Poor you, still not married, she
most definitely is doing something wrong to still be single after all this
time". Hello! I'm still in the room for Christ's sake, shish!!!
So where was
I? Yes, marriage as the ultimate achievement. The crowning glory of a woman is
her husband and the jewelry in her crown are her children. Yes, I do agree that
children are just adorable. This brings me to the crux of the debate; children
seize to be the jewel in the crown when the lady is unwed. The question being
why.
An unwed
lady, we can condone but when she has kids in tow, it limits her possibilities
of finding a Mr. Right to live happily ever after with. I once knew a guy who
said he would marry a single mother with a female child but not a male child,
his reason being he and his wife must share only one first son and that son must
be his. Hmmmm, didn't get the logic then and still don't get it now.
The realities
that prospective single mothers have to tackle upon discovering they are with
child are numerous
1.
What will my family say? - There is always the situation of being
disowned and thrown out of the house by strict parents who can't stand the
disgrace.
2. What will people say? - The stigmatization of single mothers by
their 'friends' is better imagined. People do have bad mouth and tend to wag a
considerable amount of negative comments. The society automatically labels the
lady promiscuous and wayward.
3.
Who will marry me? - There are a limited number of men who are
modern enough to accept another man's child as his. And sometimes those
'modern' men act out when married to these 'promiscuous' women.
It’s not an
easy decision, to keep or not to keep, that’s the question.
As the
debate drew to a noisy close, the floor was divided. Some were of the opinion that
any lady who found herself in such a situation should suffer the consequences
of their actions and endure punishment of life as a single mom with the
possibility of no prince charming ever gracing your doorsteps. Reasons:
1) Abortion is a sin. 2) Screw society, you’re old enough to live through the
stigma. 3) A man will eventually come, so fear not.
While a
smaller number believed abortion was the only solution. Reason: A mistake had already
been made why complicate your life even further?
A lone voice
maintained this position, "You don't know what you're capable of until
you're faced with a tough decision. Your decision can swing anywhere so
be cautious about spewing boastful opinions and convictions".
I have to
agree with her point of view and remain on the fence on this one.
What do you
think?
