Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Thursday, February 20, 2014
To Quit or Forge Ahead
What do you do when all you want to do is give up?
You've tried your best, you've prayed, you're cried and then you've tried some more. Yet it seems like an exercise in futility.
You ask yourself 'What is the next step in this endless cycle of hitting your head against a brick wall?'.
Do you turn back and head back to the starting line or do you forge ahead inspite of the permanent roadblock ahead.How do you know its the time to throw in the towel or just give it one last push just to see if this time things will change.
Does giving up mean your a loser for saying 'No More' or does it show wisdom, bravery and maturity cos you knew it was time to quit?
How do you know that whatever decision you make is the right one?
Its been an awkward week of soul searching and deep thought. I am yet to answer these questions so I'm throwing it open to cyberspace hoping for some advise or an answer of some sort.
Cos seriously, I'm at my wits end.
You've tried your best, you've prayed, you're cried and then you've tried some more. Yet it seems like an exercise in futility.
You ask yourself 'What is the next step in this endless cycle of hitting your head against a brick wall?'.
Do you turn back and head back to the starting line or do you forge ahead inspite of the permanent roadblock ahead.How do you know its the time to throw in the towel or just give it one last push just to see if this time things will change.
Does giving up mean your a loser for saying 'No More' or does it show wisdom, bravery and maturity cos you knew it was time to quit?
How do you know that whatever decision you make is the right one?
Its been an awkward week of soul searching and deep thought. I am yet to answer these questions so I'm throwing it open to cyberspace hoping for some advise or an answer of some sort.
Cos seriously, I'm at my wits end.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Everything Happens For a Reason
I have not been a happy person.
I am not the type to wake up singing ‘I gat a feeling, that today’s gonna be a great day’. I don’t sing in the rain and don’t see the glass half full. You want sweetness and overflowing delight, move over to the lady in the adjourning cubicle, she’s your woman.
I work with plans and schedules. Everything has its place and must at all cost stick to the schedule I have created. No room for accidents, mishaps or incidentals. Everything must wait its turn.
Yep, I’m a planner.
So it was with great annoyance that my month of September was spent running from pillar to post, putting out fires and dealing with unplanned situations. It all started with the birth of my sister’s baby.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore my sister and her kids but the baby coming disrupted my careful planning. Her birth meant my mum moved out and into her home, taking with her all the luxurious advantages of living with a parent. In simple terms, I became the responsible adult I wasn’t planning to be, at least not yet.
1. I had to run my family home for 2 months. No financial assistance from anywhere which was a major strain on my finances
2. My laptop suddenly packed up and I had to purchase another one cos I had school work to do
3. My leave was shortened and postponed (aaaargh)
4. My car battery died, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. Talk about perfect timing!!!
5. The steering rack of my car began to act up. Money, Money, Money
6. My front tires began leaking arbitrarily so ….
7. And finally, my side mirror was totally annihilated 2 days ago.
Yeah, it’s been a financially tasking month. And I am so glad it’s over.
The month of July gave me a ton of heartache and tears but my September left a major dent in my wallet.
My colleagues and friends say I should look at the bright side, I’m alive, I have the funds to solve all the problems that have arisen thus far and I should be thankful.
Hmmmmmm. Be grateful right? It could have been worse, I know, but what happens to the plans I made prior to the nuisance of this September?
Wake me up when September ends. Wishing October brings back my smile, my mood and my lost joy.
Happy October
I am not the type to wake up singing ‘I gat a feeling, that today’s gonna be a great day’. I don’t sing in the rain and don’t see the glass half full. You want sweetness and overflowing delight, move over to the lady in the adjourning cubicle, she’s your woman.
I work with plans and schedules. Everything has its place and must at all cost stick to the schedule I have created. No room for accidents, mishaps or incidentals. Everything must wait its turn.
Yep, I’m a planner.
So it was with great annoyance that my month of September was spent running from pillar to post, putting out fires and dealing with unplanned situations. It all started with the birth of my sister’s baby.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore my sister and her kids but the baby coming disrupted my careful planning. Her birth meant my mum moved out and into her home, taking with her all the luxurious advantages of living with a parent. In simple terms, I became the responsible adult I wasn’t planning to be, at least not yet.
1. I had to run my family home for 2 months. No financial assistance from anywhere which was a major strain on my finances
2. My laptop suddenly packed up and I had to purchase another one cos I had school work to do
3. My leave was shortened and postponed (aaaargh)
4. My car battery died, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. Talk about perfect timing!!!
5. The steering rack of my car began to act up. Money, Money, Money
6. My front tires began leaking arbitrarily so ….
7. And finally, my side mirror was totally annihilated 2 days ago.
Yeah, it’s been a financially tasking month. And I am so glad it’s over.
The month of July gave me a ton of heartache and tears but my September left a major dent in my wallet.
My colleagues and friends say I should look at the bright side, I’m alive, I have the funds to solve all the problems that have arisen thus far and I should be thankful.
Hmmmmmm. Be grateful right? It could have been worse, I know, but what happens to the plans I made prior to the nuisance of this September?
Wake me up when September ends. Wishing October brings back my smile, my mood and my lost joy.
Happy October
Monday, August 5, 2013
Abeg, Live Your Life
We're more likely to lose the things we cherish to save. The young girl with an unwanted pregnancy never has miscarriage. The married woman pregnant after years of waiting risks losing it if she laughs too hard. Life is like that.
The rough guy in school who hardly read his books, who was written off for being too adventurous and reckless, is the owner of that new bubbling firm. Among his workers are the erstwhile efficos in class. Life is like that.
Back then in the village, one young man used to chase snakes wherever he saw them. His bravery was too risky. The animals appeared to have developed a biological alert for his presence, fleeing from his trouble whenever. Yet they routed their revenge towards his colleague who feared them, and once planted venom in his veins.
The mad man lives longer by rotten food. The wayward girl marries the most eligible bachelor in the neighborhood, while her "virtuous" peers sometimes wait longer. The Casanova wins the best girls. Life is like that.
Even Christ said it, that he who saves his life shall lose it!
Point is: there is no absolute rule or formula in life. One man advances by discretion; another, by indifference, and both can reach the same goal. Live your life!
Immanuel James Ibe-Anyanwu
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Be Grateful
I’ve been reading and hearing a lot about gratitude. All the materials sound alike.
- Everything happens for a reason
- Appreciate the things you have now in anticipation of the things you want
- Smile
- Consider others
- Being thankful now opens doors
It goes on and on about being thankful but no one talks about how difficult, this seemingly easy attitude is. As humans we are naturally programmed to whine about the things that didn’t go right, the things that should’ve been ours and the things we want but cannot afford or have. It’s easier to remember the missing elements than to appreciate the things we have that are right before our eyes. They always seem to be insignificant or we just take them for granted.
In all honesty, as much as I want to focus on the things I have now I can’t help but be a little peeved about the things I don’t yet have. That significant career move I have dreamed of for so long; or that jeep glittering in the sun; or the hot intelligent guy that’s gaga for me (LOL) etcetera and so forth. But daily I strive to be a little more content and appreciative of the things I do have as opposed to the things I don’t yet have.
I was thinking today about the little things that we take for granted and it struck me that it’s the little ‘unimportant’ things that we have that we should be abundantly grateful for.
I woke up this morning at 5.15am, swung my leg off the bed put on my exercise gear and sweated it out for 30minutes. Took a shower, dressed up after trying 3 different outfits, got into my car and drove to work hassle free while I shook my head pitifully at the poor motor owners who were pulled over by Policemen, LASTMA and Road Safety officials respectively. I got to work ahead of resumption time - no stress, not wahala, no fuss. I have it good I must say, compared to some people but yet I find some reason to complain.
What’s my point, you might be asking? My point is, someone else did not wake up this morning or woke up and discovered she couldn’t move. I have heard stories and seen a few also of people who died on their way to work – crushed underneath the tyre of a trailer, people who because of LASTMA got to work late today and got a query and salary deduction. Someone who does not have a closet full of cloths and deciding what to wear to work is a no brainer.
In church last night someone shared a testimony about her mum who was in an accident but survived with scars on her face while the other passenger died. I think the lady who died would’ve welcomed the option of living with a scarred face instead of death.
I am a complainer, a worrier, prone to anxiety attacks just because I need things to go well. I am learning everyday to appreciate the little things, the gift of life, the value of friendships and the bond of family. In the end, it’s the small stuff that really matters.
So when you feel that whine creeping up your lips, shove it back down and instead, focus on the things you do have – you are alive and that should count for something.
Be grateful. It could’ve been worse.
- Everything happens for a reason
- Appreciate the things you have now in anticipation of the things you want
- Smile
- Consider others
- Being thankful now opens doors
It goes on and on about being thankful but no one talks about how difficult, this seemingly easy attitude is. As humans we are naturally programmed to whine about the things that didn’t go right, the things that should’ve been ours and the things we want but cannot afford or have. It’s easier to remember the missing elements than to appreciate the things we have that are right before our eyes. They always seem to be insignificant or we just take them for granted.
In all honesty, as much as I want to focus on the things I have now I can’t help but be a little peeved about the things I don’t yet have. That significant career move I have dreamed of for so long; or that jeep glittering in the sun; or the hot intelligent guy that’s gaga for me (LOL) etcetera and so forth. But daily I strive to be a little more content and appreciative of the things I do have as opposed to the things I don’t yet have.
I was thinking today about the little things that we take for granted and it struck me that it’s the little ‘unimportant’ things that we have that we should be abundantly grateful for.
I woke up this morning at 5.15am, swung my leg off the bed put on my exercise gear and sweated it out for 30minutes. Took a shower, dressed up after trying 3 different outfits, got into my car and drove to work hassle free while I shook my head pitifully at the poor motor owners who were pulled over by Policemen, LASTMA and Road Safety officials respectively. I got to work ahead of resumption time - no stress, not wahala, no fuss. I have it good I must say, compared to some people but yet I find some reason to complain.
What’s my point, you might be asking? My point is, someone else did not wake up this morning or woke up and discovered she couldn’t move. I have heard stories and seen a few also of people who died on their way to work – crushed underneath the tyre of a trailer, people who because of LASTMA got to work late today and got a query and salary deduction. Someone who does not have a closet full of cloths and deciding what to wear to work is a no brainer.
In church last night someone shared a testimony about her mum who was in an accident but survived with scars on her face while the other passenger died. I think the lady who died would’ve welcomed the option of living with a scarred face instead of death.
I am a complainer, a worrier, prone to anxiety attacks just because I need things to go well. I am learning everyday to appreciate the little things, the gift of life, the value of friendships and the bond of family. In the end, it’s the small stuff that really matters.
So when you feel that whine creeping up your lips, shove it back down and instead, focus on the things you do have – you are alive and that should count for something.
Be grateful. It could’ve been worse.
Monday, December 31, 2012
My Life In 2012
I had an epiphany.
I was having lunch yesterday with my chubby and spanking new boyfriend when it came to me. You know those moments when everything just becomes clear and makes absolute sense. It wasn't what he said that led to the epiphany, but my plate of food. Go figure.
The waiter brought in a plate of steak, shrimps, chips and chicken and I stared at my plate wondering how on earth I was going to finish this mountain before me.
As I looked longer at the plate the more differently I felt about the meal and the items on the plate. I felt my life and decisions of 2012 staring back at me. 2012 has been a year of mixed 'blessings'. At the point of experiencing these blessings, I thought my life was over, I felt that I had lost everything and the end was near. But I realised that you have to push past the voices that tell you to give up even without trying. I had ordered the meal based on the glowing recommendation of my boyfriend and here it was right in front of me and I didn't want it.
Many times in life we go after stuff, people or jobs we envy from afar or have heard so much about that we are hell bent on getting them. We fail to do due diligence beforehand and ask ourselves the one important question, 'Do I really want this?' 'When I get this, will I still want it?'
I am not a huge fan of shrimps, prawns I can live with. I can't stand them because of their bulging black eyes that stare at me intently and make me feel guilty for eating them. They represent all the things I felt guilty about and wasn't comfortable doing but did anyway just because I wanted to save face and be cool. I did eat the shrimps to save face but cut off the head before eating - my way of assaging my guilt you can say.
The chips were spot on but you wouldn't call it value for money. They weren't exactly crunchy or crispy but they were manageable. There were times in 2012 I should've said, NO, put a lid on the trash I was handed; but I never said NO More and ended up eating and taking a lot of crap, all for the reason that I was being nice and avoiding confrontation. I ate the chips eventhough the menu said crispy chips.
The steak was tasty but a battle to get through. Phew did I struggle. When I first looked at it, I was tempted to not even bother but I am sooooo happy I tried. It sure was tasty and I enjoyed every bite. Were I not in public and forming fine girl, I would have attacked the bones. Lol. There were things this year I almost didn't attempt because of fear of the unknown. If it looks scary and difficult then it probably is, at least that's what I always thought. This year I went through a door I was always too afraid to cross but I found out it wasn't as bad as I feared. Once I got through the initial inconvenience of the change, life went on as usual.
Oh the chicken was heavenly. There is some joy in the taste of the familiar. Chicken, chicken crispy well spiced chicken. Lovely. In some ways my life was somewhat predictable in 2012, I revel in the familiar, the comfortable, the predictable. Yes I get yabbed alot about it but I don't much care for the side comments and yabs. The familiar is good, at least I'm known for something.
As I rounded up the meal, overfed and gasping for breath from forcing the food down, it hit me. Life is a jumble of random events that often never make any sense at the start. There were many things I was so sure of at the beginning of 2012, hopes and dreams I thought would become my reality, things I held on so steadfastly but which somehow failed at the last lap. The truth is, life seldom turns out like we would all like it to. It just might appear like my heaped plate of shrimps, steak, chips and chicken which on first sight might appear like a culinary mess but upon sampling each item, prove to be more than we had hoped.
I won't say 2012 was a blast or a spectacular year, but all in all, it was a year for growth, for new experiences, for seeing and appreciating the world, for embracing and valuing the power and bond of family and for new beginnings.
Adieu 2012 and all my unfulfilled dreams, crushed hopes and heartbreaks; you will not be missed.
With open arms I embrace a new year and look ahead to 2013 with a peace and acceptance of what is to come; and for the first time in a long time, I feel no fear for the unknown.
I was having lunch yesterday with my chubby and spanking new boyfriend when it came to me. You know those moments when everything just becomes clear and makes absolute sense. It wasn't what he said that led to the epiphany, but my plate of food. Go figure.
The waiter brought in a plate of steak, shrimps, chips and chicken and I stared at my plate wondering how on earth I was going to finish this mountain before me.
As I looked longer at the plate the more differently I felt about the meal and the items on the plate. I felt my life and decisions of 2012 staring back at me. 2012 has been a year of mixed 'blessings'. At the point of experiencing these blessings, I thought my life was over, I felt that I had lost everything and the end was near. But I realised that you have to push past the voices that tell you to give up even without trying. I had ordered the meal based on the glowing recommendation of my boyfriend and here it was right in front of me and I didn't want it.
Many times in life we go after stuff, people or jobs we envy from afar or have heard so much about that we are hell bent on getting them. We fail to do due diligence beforehand and ask ourselves the one important question, 'Do I really want this?' 'When I get this, will I still want it?'
I am not a huge fan of shrimps, prawns I can live with. I can't stand them because of their bulging black eyes that stare at me intently and make me feel guilty for eating them. They represent all the things I felt guilty about and wasn't comfortable doing but did anyway just because I wanted to save face and be cool. I did eat the shrimps to save face but cut off the head before eating - my way of assaging my guilt you can say.
The chips were spot on but you wouldn't call it value for money. They weren't exactly crunchy or crispy but they were manageable. There were times in 2012 I should've said, NO, put a lid on the trash I was handed; but I never said NO More and ended up eating and taking a lot of crap, all for the reason that I was being nice and avoiding confrontation. I ate the chips eventhough the menu said crispy chips.
The steak was tasty but a battle to get through. Phew did I struggle. When I first looked at it, I was tempted to not even bother but I am sooooo happy I tried. It sure was tasty and I enjoyed every bite. Were I not in public and forming fine girl, I would have attacked the bones. Lol. There were things this year I almost didn't attempt because of fear of the unknown. If it looks scary and difficult then it probably is, at least that's what I always thought. This year I went through a door I was always too afraid to cross but I found out it wasn't as bad as I feared. Once I got through the initial inconvenience of the change, life went on as usual.
Oh the chicken was heavenly. There is some joy in the taste of the familiar. Chicken, chicken crispy well spiced chicken. Lovely. In some ways my life was somewhat predictable in 2012, I revel in the familiar, the comfortable, the predictable. Yes I get yabbed alot about it but I don't much care for the side comments and yabs. The familiar is good, at least I'm known for something.
As I rounded up the meal, overfed and gasping for breath from forcing the food down, it hit me. Life is a jumble of random events that often never make any sense at the start. There were many things I was so sure of at the beginning of 2012, hopes and dreams I thought would become my reality, things I held on so steadfastly but which somehow failed at the last lap. The truth is, life seldom turns out like we would all like it to. It just might appear like my heaped plate of shrimps, steak, chips and chicken which on first sight might appear like a culinary mess but upon sampling each item, prove to be more than we had hoped.
I won't say 2012 was a blast or a spectacular year, but all in all, it was a year for growth, for new experiences, for seeing and appreciating the world, for embracing and valuing the power and bond of family and for new beginnings.
Adieu 2012 and all my unfulfilled dreams, crushed hopes and heartbreaks; you will not be missed.
With open arms I embrace a new year and look ahead to 2013 with a peace and acceptance of what is to come; and for the first time in a long time, I feel no fear for the unknown.
Friday, October 26, 2012
The Voice
Yes I will, No you won't.
The continuous inward battle that goes on in the mind of the living. The constant push and pull to try harder, maintain the current pace or just give up.
These voices don't go away. They remain our constant companions all through our lives but the intensity of the voices vary based on our choices. The voice that wins over time often amplifiers its volume that it sometimes drowns out its opposer.
Every decision and action brings us in contact with the voices inside our head. The voice that tell us we can become much more than we see in our present or the one that says, this is as good as it gets - give up or accept.
The voice of reason as people call it, is often the safer option. Its the voice of self preservation and is always averse to risk taking. Don't get me wrong, the voice of reason has its uses and can get us out of tricky situations but it shouldn't become our default option.
The road of life is not paved of gold, it has its bumps along the way with its occasional potholes and possible ditches. Short of investing in a flying carpet, we will encounter these bumps. The question is, how will we be handle these obstacles when they come? Confront them or balk and shy away. The internal voice with the most power will more often make the decisions - but will that be the right decision?
To win in life we need the winning voice. The voice that tells you everyday you are a champion, you can do the impossible and that you are an unstoppable force. Believing that voice is a long term project that starts today. You need to school that voice and practice listening to it. For in you lies a latent champ waiting to be unleashed.
School the voice
Believe the voice
Act accordingly.
Ciao.
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