Friday, February 28, 2014

Doing The Two-Step



 

Being in a relationship is like doing a 2-step dance; it requires a little give and a little go. Standing still would mean you get stepped on a lot and moving out of tune would probably see you slip, slide or worse, fall.
With each dance comes its sets of rules - the right posture and stance, the number of counts preceding a movement, the direction and movement of the hips and arms - the list is endless; and just like dance, relationships are governed by its own sets of rules. 

Each partner has a role to play in ensuring every move is executed flawlessly and no one leaves the dance floor injured. 

Women expect to be wooed and pampered while men are naturally inclined to lead and pursue, the same applies to dance, the man must lead.

The Role of The Man
On the dance floor, he’s in charge. He leads by gently nudging his partner to move where and how he wants. His subtle cues set the tone and pace of the dance. His touch is respectful and he makes it a point to avoid causing injuries to his partner.

The Role of The Woman
There’s a saying in the military ‘Obey the last command’ and for the lady on the dance floor, the onus is upon her to follow, no matter what. Wrestling power from the man isn’t an option however trust is a necessity when she steps into the arms of her partner. She needs to be attentive to the gentle nudges from her partner and know what each cue means.

The Role of Music
Just like dance, each relationship is tuned to a particular rhythm and both partners must be willing to dance to the music.
Music determines the pace and style. Partners must choose and agree on the music and style beforehand; it is imperative that the genre of the song and the dance itself be in sync. It can be problematic when the music is suited for a waltz and one partner wants to salsa all the way. Agreement creates an enabling environment for the execution of a harmonized and enjoyable dance routine. 


Each relationship must appreciate and respect its peculiarities and adapt the dance step to its rhythm. 

Remember, being the best dance team requires constant practice; it takes work to produce the synchronized routine.


Thursday, February 20, 2014

To Quit or Forge Ahead

What do you do when all you want to do is give up?

You've tried your best, you've prayed, you're cried and then you've tried some more. Yet it seems like an exercise in futility.

You ask yourself 'What is the next step in this endless cycle of hitting your head against a brick wall?'. 

Do you turn back and head back to the starting line or do you forge ahead inspite  of the permanent roadblock ahead.How do you know its the time to throw in the towel or just give it one last push just to see if this time things will change.

Does giving up mean your a loser for saying 'No More' or does it show wisdom, bravery and maturity cos you knew it was time to quit?


How do you know that whatever decision you make is the right one?

Its been an awkward week of soul searching and deep thought. I am yet to answer these questions so I'm throwing it open to cyberspace hoping for some advise or an answer of some sort.

Cos seriously, I'm at my wits end.

Monday, November 11, 2013

My Dear James


It’s been a while we spoke, it’s not that I didn’t want to write nor could I find the time to but the truth is, it’s hard.

Everyone walks around trying desperately to avoid mentioning you. I want to be angry with them but I can’t blame them cos talking about you is hard.

I still imagine you’re in med school away for the longest of times and dream of the conversations we would have when you get back. Then I wake up; and it’s hard to stay awake cos I still want to go back to sleep and talk to you.

I made some bad decisions this year and I’m so sure you would have talked me out of every single one. You were my conscience, the voice that curbed my excesses and always talked me down from whatever ledge I was standing on. I want to blame you for my bad decisions but it’s hard to do that.

The memories are fading and no matter how hard I try I can’t hold on to them. It’s like with each year some memory disappears and I can’t seem to separate the imagined from reality. Remembering is hard but the fear of forgetting is harder.

One thing I can’t forget is your love for music. I listen to the songs you loved and imagine us singing together, I can hear your distinct tenor. Remember ‘So Far Away’ by Staind? No one gets why I cry whenever I’m singing your songs, even though they are upbeat rock songs. They don’t understand that your songs are the last connections I have to you.

I dedicate this to you on the anniversary of your death. Sleep well my sweet brother for you will always be in my heart. No matter how hard it is to remember, I will never forget. 

Those bastards will rot in hell for depriving you of a full life.

Love always. Your big sis.